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Teenagers!!! – 31st of July 2012

Hi Humans,

So today I think I realised just how lucky I was to make it through my teenage years in one piece.

Firstly, I had a meeting with the team of debaters I coach at my old school. Essentially it boils down to an argument where I had to play referee to teenage girl politics. I definetly agreed with one side, but I attempted to do the Jesus thing and look at both sides before I made a decision. Anyway, now I’m pretty sure that half of my team hates me, and the other half now has a bad relationsihp with the first half. And being typical teenage situation means that it’s all inherantly my fault! But seriously, what was I to do other than what I thought was right? I don’t know. I suddenly have a deep sense of respect for Teachers and Childcare workers and Judges. They are Gods.

Secondly, when I left the apocalypse of frienships behind me after the debating meeting, I made my way to Uni for my afternoon Lecture and Tutorial. I was running early, so I stopped to get a quick supermarket lunch on the way (tried dried Guava for the first time – tasted like a flat piece of sugar) and sat down in one of the cafe’s on campus that looks like a cone. That’s right… a cone. Anyway, I started writing and found myself at a point in chapter 8 where a bunch of teenagers are making life hard for one of their teachers. Suddenly I was joining the dots between the situation in my story and the situation in my life and I thought ‘what are the chances that this is a coincidence?’ So yeah, that was weird, and now i’ve convinced myself that there is some lesson or something I should probably learn from this…… Other than that I never want to have kids.

Anyway. I am setting myself a goal and writing it here to make it official and give me some sort of motivation to achieve it. Today is Tuesday. By this Saturday night I will have finished chapter 8. Now it’s on the internet I can never take it back. So hold me to it world.

Going to go and write and eat some grass now.

Goat

Lama luck? – 30th of July 2012

Yo,

Went to Uni, caught up with Horse to write, went out to dinner with my other friend Hen and saw Grandma. That’s my day summed up. Things of note; had the best Gnocchi ever, almost broke my toe in a workshop at uni (It was damn painful and now my toe looks like something out of Texas chainsaw massacre), caught up with my friend Sheep Dog on the way home from class and watched Despicable Me.

Also, while Horse and I were writing in the library at Uni (have I mentioned that we go to the same one?) Horse received some disappointing news which was upsetting for her, so her writing session was a ride off because of it and she had to focus on other things. I think I realised today that part of the reason Horse achieves so much is because she is worried about under achieving and blames herself when she does. Go figure. Just to be selfish and non-caring, my own writing went quite well. I also got to meet one of Horse’s hot friends who she lifeguard and swim teaches with at the same pool, so that was tasty.

Anyway, according to a very loose plan that Horse and I set during the holidays, today was to be the ‘handover’ day, when we would give each other the latest chapters of our stories to edit for one another. We’ve decided to postpone this a week as neither of us are completely ready to call our latest chapters ‘finished’, although I am pleased to say that I am getting very close. I also haven’t given Horse my chapter 7, so hopefully by next week I will have both 7 and 8 to give her. Err. Great.

On a weird note, I caught up with my oldest friend Lama the other day. We’ve known each other for almost 11 years since we were like 10 years old and decided to break free from the movie-and-dinner-catch-up routine. We ended up going for a walk around the Botanical Gardens together and we chatted about serious worlds issues like the evilness of uni timetables and inability of stomachs to self-flatten. But as we were headed back to the tram to leave, she started telling me that she’s been writing a 1500 word fiction piece to submit in a competition in her local council. I was like ‘oh that’s so great the you’ve been creative writing, it’s such an indulgent and liberating art’ and she’s like ‘yeah, how did you sum that up so well?’. In my head I’m thinking ‘because I’ve secretly spent every free second for the last six and a bit years thinking about it and writing a story that’s pretty much consuming my life’ but out loud I was like ‘oh, you know, art’s always been a great way to let imaginations run wild,’ or something equivalently lame that I can’t remember. But seriously, how weird is it that someone else I know is creative writing as well?

Over and out,

Goat

Double trouble and cawinkydink – 29th of July 2012

Afternoon,

Just got back from dropping my Sydney friends at the airport. As discussed yesterday, we went out last night. And I was dredding it. But it turned out alright because they sort of separated and went off to do their own thing before it got too late, so I was able to go home, hence avoided the worst of the drunken clubbing nightmare (I think some higher power interviened for me). There was two of them though, which meant that I couldn’t exactly control them after a point, hence was glad they decided to do their own thing.

Last night when I was out I told Horse about this blog and she was great about it. I’m yet to tell her that she’s included in the blog (errr – probably should have asked her first), but at least i’ve given her an alias of a farmyard animal – so hopefully the cool points will make up for the dishonesty. Anyway, in another freaky coincidence wierd thing, turns out that Horse has been writing about writing as well! She was trying to tell me about it last night but over the loud music and alcohol I was really only able to nod and smile and not really understand what she was saying. But we are having a writing session tomorrow morning and I’m going to interrogate her about it. So yeah, that’s exciting for me and propably not for you.

I’m sitting on my bed with a hot water bottle and Harry Potter. I have a double shift today so I’m soaking up all the comfort I can before three thirty. I don’t normally work doubles but a guy at work fell down the stairs and apparently his ankle has swollen to the size of  boulder/ may be broken, so i’m filling in. The thought of the money will get me through.

Also, Australia won the womans 4 by 100 meter medley in London. This makes me happy.

Errrr, bye.

Goat

Marry me Mr Bean! – 28th of July 2012

Hi,

So I know I haven’t posted in forever, and I only have pathetic excuses why not…. so lets move on.

Run down of late: I’ve gone back to uni for the second semester (and my timetable is alirightish – it’s reasonable but I still want to complain), mum’s smother mother status needs to be upgraded, Dog got clipped and now looks like one of those hideos french poodles… that’s about it.

My nerdy secret is coming along though, which is good. I’ve been writing away and am determined to finish chapter 8 this week (OMG I know – Finally!) which if you’re me is exciting and if you’re you then probably as uniteresting as a rock. Recently I haven’t been able to stop my mind from speculating and forming plots for a sequel.. several in fact, which feels good because it’s exciting to speculate on the future of my characters. Also, is it weird that I think I’ve become friends with them? It is, isn’t it? Not in the way that I have conversations with them or anything psychotic, but that when I think of each of the characters in my book I feel different emotions and fondness for them, like they’re actually real people in the world I have relationships with. Now, forgive me for self preeching here, but perhaps that’s one of the things that defines a writer in this philosophical world of ours: to care about the people we create and invest ourselves in their fates. Yuck.

Anyway (I just realised how often I use that word), this weekend, a family friend from Sydney came down to stay with us and shop with a friend of hers. This is all fine, and this girl is nice, but there could not be two creatures on the planet more different than her and I. Picture this: she’s a party animal, wears heels as tall as Lauren Jackson (she is as tall as Lauren Jackson too), short skirts, has six piercings and wants to get a tattoo. I couldn’t be more different: not a party animal (In fact the very thought of clubs makes me want to curl into the foetal position and cry myself to sleep), barely ever wear heels let alone tall ones, don’t really wear short skirts, don’t spend money like it grows on trees, don’t want a tattoo. Anyway, tonight she has roped me into taking her clubbing. Being  a non-clubber means that I’m way out of my depth, so I’ve managed to rope in Horse who’s coming to save the day and taking us Bar hopping (save me now!). I’m quite confident that in a cowardly bid to ‘fit in’ and ‘be cool’ that I am going to spend more money than I would on an overseas holiday. But that’s life, I guess. And this horridly ordeal of drunken, money spending, painful shoe wearing torture will be over by the morning…. In other words i’m trying to psych myself up to bare what lays ahead.

Next…

I got up at 5:30 this morning to watch the opening ceremony of the Olympics. Yes I loved it, yes I thought it was clever and awesome and funny and stuff and yes I want to marry Daniel Craig. Favourite funny moment: Rowan Atkinson and his Chariots of fire skit. Favourite epic moment: when helicopters released confetti over the stadium and the commentators added that there was one piece of confetti for every person on the planet (7 billion apparently). When that happened I had one of those nerdy, deep moments when you think ‘that’s really something special’. I then let my eyes focus on one piece of confetti that was falling and imagined that it was me, among all the other people in the world, just being confetti and falling like confetti does. So yeah, psycho analyse away.

Also, here’s a deep thought I had today whilst on the tram that I thought I would share: I both love art (any type) … but I also hate it: Art is a tool that feeds off you to sustain itself and then spits you out the other side, an emotional cripple, with no thought of the consequences for its creator.  Yeah, that’s about it, corny I know, but deal with it.

That’s it from me today.

Happy opening ceremony day,

Goat

A bunch of stuff – 13th of July 2012

So I haven’t posted in a few days, because life has been rather lifely (which is good right?), anyway, Hi!

After my little speel the other day, I’ve been rather suprised that I actually have been more motivated to do things. Considering my normal level of motivation sits between that of a rock and Jaba da Hut, this is a big step for me.  Essentially I’ve been trying to make ‘good choices’ with free time, with creativity and motivation and generally trying to be a God . I’m yet to walk on water but things are going a little better in the productivity stakes.

I’ve successfully had several sessions of working on chapter 8, and now things are travelling a lot smoother. I know what I want to include and if I get my head down I might even finish it soon (wow, how thrilling!). Yesterday, I attempted to sit myself down to write for several hours, but ended up speculating about ideas for potential sequeals to my story, which I have been doing more and more recently.

Wednesday was Mum’s birthday. We went out for dinner to a  Korean restuarant. The food was weird. Just felt like it should get a mention. The end

I have a double shift this afternoon, which i’m seriously not looking forward to. I’ll be working from 4:30 – 11pm. Fun. The fairy god mother in me is telling me not to complain though. I need the money. My travel money for the end of the year is seriously low and I’ve had some big expenses lately (like my new comptuer, and birthday presents and phone bills and general forgot-I-have-to-pay-that stuff), and it adds up fast.

Holidays are drawing to a close. I have just over a week left, I think…. should probably check that at some stage. And this news depresses me. I’ve put in preferences for my timetable, but the final product hasn’t been released yet so I won’t know until the 17th. The thing that bugs me more than flies in the summer is that I have nearly double the contact hours I did last semester, which means less time to work on my writing. I spoke to Horse about this, and because she’s more organised than Jesus, she managed to make me believe for a brief moment that things would work out fine. But then I got home and the cloud of soon-to-have-no-free-time-to-do-any-writing swooped over me again.

I shall depart now.

Goat

Resolving results – 9th of July 2012

Sup?

So today I met Horse in the city to write. And it didn’t work out for me. I got there and fidgeted, and chatted and then annoyed Horse for a bit with typical pointless banter. I tried to work on my chapter 8, which I’ve sort of hit a road block with half way through and wrote about three substandard lines before I knew it wasn’t working for me. Sometimes you just know, you know?

Anyway it’s really frustrating sometimes, like today. I feel like Ian Thorpe when I get a good thought (poet much?) and it’s like I’m ready to spring off the blocks but no one shoots the starting gun, so I’m just left waiting with all these ideas but no way to use them (like the metaphor?). The thing that’s holding me back is will power (any ideas how to help me world?) and because things seem to be traveling so slowly with my writing, I just have less and less motivation to write. Sometimes I just sit at my desk and stare at my computer. And stare. And stare. And stare. And nothing comes out. Occasionally there’s a really good day when my thoughts are spewing out at the speed of light and I literally can’t type fast enough. But the problem isn’t the plot of my story, it’s writing the individual sentences, and structuring words and paragraphs that’s slowing me up. I’m self obsessed enough to say that I love my ideas, but they just don’t seem to translate well when I go to write them down. Does that make sense?

But here’s the epiphany I just had while writing this post….

I think I just realized (many thanks to the emotional ending of Spiderman 3 which was on TV tonight) that there is always a choice to do the right thing. So here’s my dramatic-Spiderman-fuelled  pledge. From the moment I wake up tomorrow, I will make a choice: and my choice will be the right one. I will make the choice to write, rather than do something lazy. I will make the choice to go for a run when I can’t be bothered and be proactive with Uni and everything else I do, and I will give absolute commitment to completing my story to the best possible level it can be completed, as fast as I can properly do it.

Lol! This resolve will probably last five minutes. But either way it will mean at least five minutes of hard work.

So from a nostalgic me I bid you goodnight. I promise I’ll try and man-up for tomorrows post.

Also (side note), found out today that I passed all my semester 1 subjects! I honestly cannot describe how stereotypically relived I am. There was this one subject that I found so mind-bogglingly hard I thought I was going to fail for sure, but I scrapped a pass (excited girly squeal) and I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders. So yeah, celebrations are in order. Drinks on me.

Goat-bye

Progression – 8th of July 2012

Hi Again,

So I know it’s been a couple of days since my last post. Apologies. Double shifts at work and general lazyness have kept me occupied.  Anyway, I can officially announce that I have a new computer! It cost $800 (I’m still tryiing to get my bank account to speak to me again), and it’s a HP, so naturally I have given it the name Harry Potter. Anyway, Harry Potter is a significant improvement on my old brick,  which shall soon be disposed of in a private burial at home. Harry is light, has a red underside and (if I do say so myself) is pretty damn fine!

In other news, my story is coming along, with chapter 8 begining to form. I have had to go back and plan it again because I pretty much decided to scrap the way I had previously planned it. I’m catching up with Horse tomorrow to write with her, and I think it will be a good kickstart to a heavy week of writing, which I need. My younger brother Cow finishes school holidays on Monday, hence I will have the house entirely to myself on Mondays and Wednesdays because everyone else will be at work. Prime set up for writing, me thinks yes.

For the sake of randomness you might like to know that I am writing this is bed on this very cold Sunday morning, whilst my Cat protests for more food on top of the refrigerator.

Later,

Goat