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Impending Doom – 2nd of August 2012

August 2, 2012

Hello again World,

So aside from eating grass and doing the normal things that I, as a Goat do on a typical day, today I wrote in the morning, went and saw the final round of my debating teams season (they won. I’m proud) and applied for my own Medicare card. I also went out and bought a couple of pairs of new pants because my supplies were down to one ripped pair of leggings and a couple of faded jeans. It was a genuinely thrilling day in some parts and only a sarcastically thrilling day in others.

It’s probably worth mentioning that since the incident between team CatDog and myself yesterday, I am not talking to either of them, and until they attempt to apologise we shall continue this standoff of affection.

Also today, I decided to end my denial over the fact that I have to sing a solo for one of my classes at Uni on Monday. This is very, very, very bad. When things like this come up, friends go ‘oh I’m sure you’re not such a bad singer. Everyone can sing if they try’ (sorry Horse). Well these people have never heard a Goat attempt to sing. I do not have a musical note in by body. I was not born to sing, and I do not attempt to pretend that I was. I am so cataclysmically bad at singing that I’m confident I will be asked to stop, less than one bar in, after the other students have run out of the room crying and holding their hands to their ears. Yes, on Monday, when I open my mouth and utter that first demonic note, the Earth is going to stop revolving.

So I’ve been asking around and Horse has given me a little advice over song choice (I told her I wanted something monotone and with super controversial lyrics so no one focuses on my voice). Horse has been able to help me with the first of these two requests and once again I realise how imbalanced our friendship is. Goat takes. Horse gives. That’s pretty much how it goes. So Horse, if you’re reading this, thank you and sorry for being such a taker. I have a singing friend at Uni who is going to have a quickie rehearsal with me before I have to sing my death march at 1pm on Monday, so lookout for Monday’s post which will undoubtedly contain a goodbye note and will.

I’m going to go and sing in the shower now, and then sit in bed and write for a little while before I ‘hit the hay’ (thanks Dad for the incredibly cool expression you’ve instilled in me over the years).





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